Breaking up is never easy. And people can experience a variety of negative emotions, from anger to even grief-like sadness. Explains why narcissists behave the way they do - viewing others as prey to treat like dirt or tear down in order to prop up their delusions of superiority. Narcissists have an implicitbelief that in order to be okay, they need to beperfect and constantly get others toenviouslylook up to them. Mine is a good looking one and the sex is simply the best. Narcissists love you at your best. You can spend a lifetime trying to decipher their actions. They were also more likely to initiate a breakup and attribute it to their lack of interest in their ex. I wanted to check in to see how you and your son are doing and how that situation turned out. I read about reproductive coercion. The next day, he shows up and starts cutting my grasswhy? This mom has sent him to visits with dirty clothes on, not appropriate clothing for the weather, not started ANY solid foods as yet (8 months!) Furthermore, Im quite sure he did not mean what he said, although convincing Im sure, he was so jelous (for lack of a better word) of your abilities that he HAD to denegrate, devalue even destroy you to maintain his fictitious imageof his own perfection. As soon as he left he has been spiteful and nasty to me and the kids. Good for you. The absolute indifference to me after I moved for him was nothing short of emotional devastation for me. It has effected my relationship with my daughter. Completely right just you and me. ive a chilminder other days even though hes not working. They are not able to regulate their emotions or consider the impact that their actions may have on other people. com, he offered a great help to me. Love empathy compassion, a conscience .making them retarded psychopaths who self destruct over their selfishness, self love, low self esteem. I returned home but didnt tell her that I went away. Hed been staying with her on those disappearing times and when he was supposedly traveling on his truck overnight. my narcissitic ex also it is addicted to porn and on line dating sites, he lied to me also about it and he cant not accepted, but I know his addiction to porn, also he had been trying to always find his perfetct match but never find it, I had been hurt so many times, and he promissed me to change and all that, same thing we got engaged and after 3 weeks living together he started locking himself on the computer room and getting so mad and defensive when I questioned what he was doing there I turned back to my hometown and I hope to never hear from him again. After two affairs I finally had the courage to kick him out 7 weeks ago. What Happens When a Narcissist is Exposed? Seeing me upset his reaction was Im damned if I do and damned if I dont! your life truly depends on itand if you have children please please get out so they can have a chance at a functional life you nor they may not see it now but just like I never thought I would I Thank GOD everytime I encounter that demonic empwhich is often. Surprisingly, narcissism was not related to blaming ex-partners for the problems that led to the breakup. He even started spreading these same lies to our neighbors. While you wont get any closure, consider yourself lucky if it happens. Its not a matter of what but how and why. And before I knew it he asked to move In with me. I got so tired of his dramas that i ended up leaving him. I found out the day after the breakup and went totally No Contact. Over time, the lies become so constant and even elaborate, that they often end up believing their own lies. Demand attention, even after you've broken up. He never complimented me, yet got upset when others did. its is a long and difficult path. He can't go even a day without this. I know too well due to my reaction however I used tools to SHOW changes and accountability bcuz la had evidence but after that I was very careful around him but I recorded him used text based evidence by the time he figured it out it was too late I still felt bad but thats bcuz we have empthay Im slowly going to pull his contact away. He fed off my reaction to the things he would say to me, he thrived for my responses or me arguing back with him, etc. I dont want him back but Id like to be prepared just in case. All during the relationship, he has accused me of cheating and lying when I have done no such thing. As a result my automobile had to be parked and since then Ive been either having to use public transport or asking and/or paying people for rides. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before. Dealing with one of them now Painful awful experience. Even when I was at my lowest they seem too get great pleasure out it. This followed with I wouldnt have her in my life if you hadnt left me but you always have the control. With my current situation I decided going back last month. For months it really affected my self esteem. He would come home and just go to bed without talking to me and after a week of me feeling infuriated, invalidated, weak, angry, sad, lonely, to the point I couldnt take it anymore. Some are harrassing, some just dont comply with my requests to stay away, some email like years latera matter of time. I dealt it as much as I could because I was trying to understand what was going on in my marriage and why he was always lashing out verbally and constantly moody. That my kids deserved better than me and he would do everything in his power to take them away from me. Whats Ever to isolate me. And my family hates hates him. We found that those high in narcissistic admiration had particularly positive views of their ex-partners. Hi Tina I was with a narcissist for over 5 years it was an emotional rollercoaster to say the least. I will never use the norm to assess my situation with this freak of nature. And he and him where together now allan Denies it. Hi, yes, why would someone who is happy with their new girlfriend try to call and be in contact, to show that oh they are so happy now and she is so better. My ex husband comes to the airport and doesnt take his eyes of my son. In Canada, the first year all rights are given to the mom it seems especially when hiding in the breastfeeding umbrella. The other, had come over tripping out. I should have RAN. I was cute, carefree, and single so why not? good luck to you. I have tried only a few times to describe the indescribable world by jumping from incident to incident with the stories half told due to another story that meshes with the first and sounding so crazy to someone and the anxiety one feels while trying to even put into words what nobody could fathom unless they have experienced such a hell. Triangulation. It is easier to leave a narcissist if you cut off as much contact as possible. Its ok your free now think yourself lucky it got bored with the thrill of killing you. Were HIM, not you! I could be sleeping on the couch with the dog the dog was on the couch?! Our results suggest that having high levels of narcissistic admiration A form of narcissism that is agentic and about actively seeking admiration through charm makes breakups easier. If I break the No Contact rule in any way shape or form it will feed his addiction, I will have become supply again. Being a whore ? groveling) theyll change tactics and might even ask you to forgive them. Then, if they can't get it, they may leave you behind in an instant, only coming back in view to make your life miserable. 2. Most importantly since she has now left her boyfriend, I am the one who is breaking up the family. Renay! I got a full time job. 15 Signs You're Dealing With A Narcissist, From A Therapist. This not only gives them an enormous sense of power, but it also weakens you mentally and emotionally. The cost of avoiding any emotional hazards by acting in this self-protective way is that true intimacy with another remains forever beyond their reach. That is virtually impossible. Long story short, this narcissistic woman is my first love. He had come home that night to get all of his stuff and leave permanently. So when I returned he once again stated lashing out, but this this armed with the advise I had, I didnt go back and forth with him. She suddenly became another person. I was drinking heavilythey were not threatening, just dumb. So glad I did, things went quiet from him over the weekend. Its no different, but worse, 5, 10, 15 years in. If you want to make a narcissist feel bad, then dish them a taste of their own medicine. He would never write or leave a note on my car or front door. I only discovered that my wife, the every woman i love with my life was cheating on me with her boss. Therapists making money by the bucket loads so others could take no responsibility in their relationships. i also come across one particular testimony,it was about a woman called Sonia,she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 7 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped High Priest OLORUN s e-mail address. I would get so upset that he just dropped off the planet and obviously has no need to talk to me, think about me, know how I am. I have no feelings left. Manipulation is their biggest hobby, so when their victims find their voice and decide enough is enough, a feeling of anger and emptiness washes over them. I have potential I know you heard of this phrase, If you cant beat em, join em! And when I confronted him about my findings, I was that ither ungrateful, losing my mind, etc. It is possible for them to completely cut you out of their life. In addition to completing questionnaires assessing their levels of narcissism, we also asked them a series of questions about that recent breakup: How did the relationship end, how did they feel after the breakup, and how do they currently perceive their ex-partners? She was normal for some days and then broke up again. The rage, the pure evil and, yes, the vicious slander / character assassination to make him the victim and me the monster and to discredit me to prevent his exposure. His indifference was crushing. Dr Mack is the best caster Ive seen thus far, whoever need help to get his or her lover in a perfect way should try to contact Dr_Mack@yahoo. He managed to make his family hate me, particularly his co dependent mother. Im a college student its very hard doing this all by myself I dont have resources to pay for child care. You just survived an encounter with a very deadly predator. His soil is toxic And polluted over the years . "The Casanova doesn't care very deeply for their partner, nor did they expect to have a long-term relationship. I became so emotionally stressed that I literally couldnt think straight, I constantly cried many many nights, my hair literally fell out in clumps. If he wants to sign his rights away completely I would be willing to do so. He has 2 stepbrothers by diff people. I found out that he had had a girlfriend all the time (different ones) and I found out that he had also started having a new girl friend. If in fact that you by chance see this, would you please let me know if you, and I pray that you have, left and started anew? A couple weeks later, the disappearing began and the arguments. I can literally say my life is perfect because all i need in my life was my family and i had it back with a stronger love bond. I cried and cried and she just got move violent. We are not making this up. time line everything. Narcissists may respond either particularly well or particularly poorly to breakups. It went well with us and we are always happy. that is the true way to dignity, healing, inner peace and ultimately genuine, long-lasting happiness. I was already getting help for codependency but the more I learn I realized what he was..a monster..he kept me isolated from the world and the autism didnt help it either. When the time comes, Ill leave him or Ill wait till he dies (his father died about 8 years older than he currently is) and joint assets will be mine. At least not in an empathetic, normal, human type of way. No, anything good in him, was for sure a lie, a fake.It would disappear soon after you spent a little time with him.It just made me think, how he must have been putting on a show, after I left himrunning my name down. Lot of tears, grief anger etc . If you both made the decision to break things off, let your ex know that you're not going to reverse that decision just because they regret it now. In doing so, they also might slander you, bringing up all the things you did wrong in the relationship (true or not). Hes even pulled my narc brother into his delusions for affirmationa brother with whom Ive never had a relationship and knows nothing about me except his narc delusions. I never turn him in as I felt I was harming him or was his mental abuse. Im praying for u. Melanie Your story is my life. All I wanted was face to face closure. I said dont you see how totally disrespectful that is, how could you? A narcissist will certainly say they regret losing you. but if you see concern of his behaviour for your child or how its impacting the child communicate this to la and courts if your concern for childs welfare police call out his arse.